Jokes, Old and New

PGH

August 2008
More Unusual Filipino Names
We are all familiar with baby names for grown-ups (Baby, Girlie, Boy), the repeating names (Tingting, Bongbong), the “doorbell names” (Dingdong, Bingbong), family “theme” names (days of the week- Sundee, Mondee, Tuesdee, etc. and the elements – Hydrogen, Nitrogen, Helium), and literary names such as Edgar Allan Pe and Jonathan Livington Sy.

Here are a few more I heard on my last trip:
The father and son names of: Atom and Quark
Chica Go
and my recent favorite (fanfare please): Magic Chongson

January 31, 2008
The doctors’ vote (very clever)
(Thanks, Chee!)

When a panel of doctors was asked to vote on adding a new wing to their hospital, the Allergists voted to scratch it and the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve, and the Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.

The Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted; the Pathologists yelled, ‘Over my dead body’, while the Pediatricians said, ‘Oh, Grow up!’

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, the Radiologists could see right through it, and the Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, ‘This puts a whole new face on the matter.”

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists felt the scheme wouldn’t hold water.

The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas and the Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists left the decision up to some asshole in administration.

January 23, 2008
Ilang Tanong

Ano ang hayop na hindi sigurado? – Baka

Ano ang hayop na pinuputol? – Cat

Ano ang hayop na laging ayos? – Ox

Spelling

Teacher: Miguel spell horse!
–Miguel: H….O….
Teacher: Bilisan mo
–Miguel: H….O….R…
Teacher: Sabing bilisan mo
–Miguel: Ya! Tigidig!!!Tigidig!!! Tigidig…

January 17, 2008
Old OB jokes Never Die:
ICC (coaching OB patient to bear down): “Sigue misis- hinga ho sa puwerta..”

OB resident to Nurse (noting painted nails of septic abortion patient): “Tanggalin din ninyo ang kanyang kotex.”

Female intern to OB patient: “Halika misis, tanggalin natin ang panty natin…”

How do you know you did your clerkship/ internship 20 years ago?
Noon, tawag natin sa mga pasyente “Misis”, ngayon ang tawag nila “Mommy” o “Madam”!

and one new one:

from Celine V.
Mother to Peds Surgery resident: “Kamusta na ho ang anak ko?”
Resident to mom after examining patient: ” Pangit ho…”
Mother to Resident, (sighing): “Alam ko na ‘yon. Mana siya sa mister ko.”

January 18, 2008
Courtesy of Eva:

Setting: In line for Central Block elevators

Consultant to other consultant: “Tingnan mo, pinagmamasdan ng mga pasyente yung plaka ng mga PGH donors sa tapat ng elevators. Malaki ang binigay ko diyan.”

Pasyente (after reading plaque closely): “Ang dami na palang namatay dito!”

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