Here is the text of Ricky’s eulogy for Binky during her memorial service last July 16, 2011:
It has been said that nothing clears a man’s head as knowing he is to die in a fortnight. When Binky was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001, at age 37, she was suddenly faced with her own mortality. She was stage IIIB. Two years later, shortly after the birth of our second son, the cancer had spread she was now stage IV. The threat of that mortality now loomed more ominously. She gained a heightened sense of clarity as to what was important and what was not. She was never one to be beguiled by the “witchery of paltry things,” but now her disease had freed her even more. There was no big picture. Things did not matter, people did. Never mind the years of schooling or the three board certifications, her family mattered most.
Her disease later invaded her bones, lungs, brain, and liver, yet she stood strong and remained her sweet self. She smiled as if there was nothing wrong. When you spoke to her, she listened as if you had the most important thing to say. We made plans as if there were going to be a future.
She did not let her illness define her. She remained herself and continued to live and love as only she could.
Many of you who knew her have told me that you admired her or were inspired by her. Her disease may have consumed her body but no her heart or her memory. Learn from her and how she lived. Don not allow yourselves to be entrapped by those things that ultimately do not matter. Live your lives with discernment.
To our two sons, I say that your mother considered you her greatest achievements. When Fr. Wes visited with her a few days before she passed, he had told her that whenever someone said something about her boys, it was something good. That meant more than anything to her. Let her memory and what she has taught you carry you through your lives. Every time you strike a piano key, every time you are kind, every time you find the strength to persevere during the difficult times of your lives, every time you do the right thing, she lives in you.
These beautiful words bring tears to my eyes…